Three Promises

I'm not sure exactly what he has up his sleeve, but a few weeks ago in a staff meeting, Pastor Dan gave each of us an assignment. We were to come back to the next staff meeting with a list of three promises. "What three things would you want to say our church could promise to anyone who came here?"

We got off to a great start because no one (with the possible exception of Jan Slagter, who forgets nothing) came to the next meeting with our list ready. And then we had a couple of meetings where there wasn't time to get to that agenda item. (You may not be aware of this, but I have learned that at Woodbury/Peaceful Grove there is a regulation that one meeting may not end until it is time or past time for the next meeting on the schedule to begin. You may want to check the calendar before you attend any more meetings and bring a snack if it looks clear for more than a few hours.)

I have been thinking about Dan's question. What are the first things that come to your mind?

One of the first things that came to my mind was"authenticity" - we promise to be a church where people do not pretend to be other than we are. If we are confused, we do not try to act like we have all the answers. If we are lost and need support, it shows. If we are joyful, we dance in the aisles.

For people under a certain age (I'm 43 and I'm apparently under that age) authenticity is often associated with informality. We busters do not trust "dress for success" and don't appreciate "your Sunday best." We are often unimpresssed with signs and symbols of institutional authority. I don't prefer to wear vestments except for special occasions, for example, and I don't especially like being called Pastor Ruth Ann...I'd rather just be Ruth Ann. (Call me Ruth, though, and I'll freak out on you.)

For other people, and I do get this, informality suggests disrespect. Formal vestments suggest that this most reverend pastor person is set apart for holy work in this time and place. "Pay attention" the cloth yells.

One time my son, Jonathan, gave the sermon at my church. He was around 19 then, and he did a wonderful job. What was so fun about it for me is that he kept saying all of these things that are very important to me but I had no memory of telling him directly - in other words he had picked up many of my most important values by spending all those years at home and in church with me. But on this occasion Jonathan wore jeans that were holy in the wrong way. Very expensive, but ripped out. Not to long after that I got a nasty anonymous comment (gotta love those) that my family did not dress appropriately for church. So the remarkable fact that this young man could give a coherent and vibrant 20 minute (mother's child) sermon was completely lost in light of the fact that a patch of his knee skin was showing.

When I say that I want our church to offer authenticity, I'm not saying that we should be formal or informal, traditional or contemporary. What I do mean is that there should be a significant degree of honesty in all of our encounters with one another. We still have respect, we still have confidentiality and privacy, when necessary, but we are not pretending to be happier or holier or more successful or more confident or more penitent or more sober or more anything else than we really are.

Last year in my church a respected professional man, of some wealth and stature in the community, stood up during prayer time and asked us to pray for him as he was leaving the next morning for treatment - he was admitting he was alcoholic. He was an airline pilot, so an admission like this was potentially career ending. (In fact, his employer already knew and supported him throughout the process. After being clean for a number of months, going through a personal and family counseling program and a great deal of re-training, he is flying again.) My point is, this was a moment of great authenticity. He was telling us the truth about his life in that moment and his need for our love, support, and prayer. Events like this are transformative for a church community.

Is authenticity a priority for you? How do you describe authenticity in worship?

I've been told, for example, that if you say a prayer that you've already written out on paper, it's not authentic; it's not "from the heart." Do you agree with that?

What promise would you want to make on behalf of your church?